mon coeur givré
by splendidlyimperfect
Summary: Gray takes Natsu ice-skating. / Written for Gratsu Week 2k18 Day 3, Prompt: Cold / **part of the 'only hope for me is you' universe, see profile for links**


_A/N: This takes place just after crash & burn - one year after the end of the program (before the proposal)._

* * *

"Who came up with this sport?" Natsu clutched Gray's arm tightly, fingers digging into his thick winter coat. Gray laughed and wrapped his other arm around Natsu's waist, guiding him gently out onto the ice. Natsu wobbled unsteadily on his skates, making an undignified squeaking sound.

"Finland, actually," Gray said, sliding smoothly onto the pond's icy surface and tugging Natsu after him. "Or the Dutch, depending on who you ask."

"I'm just curious," Natsu said shakily, taking a careful step towards his boyfriend, "who thought putting _knives_ on your shoes was a good idea." He exhaled sharply as Gray's arm left his waist, and the dark-haired boy moved to stand in front of Natsu instead, holding both of his hands. "I'm definitely going to fall and break something."

"You're doing fine," Gray said gently, pulling Natsu forward. He stumbled a bit but caught himself, fingers tightening on Gray's wrists even through his thick gloves. "Push outward, don't walk. You're supposed to glide."

"Glide," Natsu muttered, keeping his eyes on the ice. "Easy for you to say."

"Natsu," Gray chided gently, easily moving backwards on his own skates. "I started skating when I was three." Natsu's grip loosened just a bit and he glanced up at his boyfriend, not missing the wistful look in his eyes. He knew that this visit to Montréal was difficult for Gray – it was the first time he'd been back since his mom had died.

"Did you used to skate here?" Natsu asked, trying to follow Gray's instructions by pushing out slightly with his left foot. It propelled him forward a bit, unsteadily, and he followed suit with the right. Gray skated backwards easily, pulling him along without even thinking about the movements.

"Mm," he replied. The pond was large, with an island in the center that sported a wrought-iron bench. Gray had explained to Natsu earlier that paddleboats were rented here in the summer, letting people picnic on the island. Currently there was a table next to the bench, with a tall, friendly-looking man serving mugs of coffee for the grown-ups and hot chocolate for the kids.

"Do you want to talk about them?" Natsu asked softly. Gray had been quieter than usual during the flight here – a faraway look often in his eyes. Natsu did his best to just be present for those moments; to let Gray grieve in the ways he needed. Being back here after all that time couldn't be easy for him.

"It's hard to remember them," Gray admitted, avoiding Natsu's gaze and looking instead at his skates. "I was so little." He swallowed. "Maman read to me lots. Papa loved to be outdoors, which is why we skated. It's...strange to be here." Something in his expression flickered uncertainly and Natsu pulled himself closer to his boyfriend, placing a hand on his chest.

"We can leave if you want," he offered quietly, but Gray shook his head, pulling on a half-smile. He turned his skates and stopped them in the center of the pond, pulling Natsu close to him.

"You're just trying to get out of skating," he teased, pressing a kiss to Natsu's red cheeks and wrapping both arms around him. "It's okay, though. I just..." he sighed heavily. "It's so strange to be back. With you, too. Having you see all this..."

"I love _every_ part of you," Natsu murmured, resting his head on Gray's shoulder for a moment. "Even the sad parts. Don't feel like you have to...force yourself to be happy, okay? You can be sad if you need to be sad." He squeezed Gray's waist.

 _"Câlice,"_ Gray swore, bringing a hand to his face and rubbing away the tears that were trailing down his face. _"Ils me manquent tellement."_

 _"Je sais,"_ Natsu said haltingly, still uncertain about his French. He'd been learning, slowly but surely, but it was easier to understand Gray than to speak it himself. Meeting grand-maman and grand-papa yesterday evening had been somewhat overwhelming. _"Je suis désolé."_

 _"Merci,"_ Gray replied, smiling and sniffling. He pressed a kiss to Natsu's forehead. "I'm proud of you."

Natsu grinned and pushed himself away from Gray carefully, wobbling unsteadily on his skates and attempting to stand upright. Gray let go of Natsu's hands and backed up a few paces, then gestured for Natsu to move towards him.

"Shit, this is scary," Natsu muttered, pushing off with his left foot and immediately feeling off-balance. His arms windmilled for a second but he caught himself, managing to move forward and fall back into Gray's arms.

"There, see?" Gray grinned, repeating the motion of backing up and beckoning his boyfriend forward. Each time Natsu felt a bit steadier, a little surer of himself. Soon his cheeks were pink and his nose was cold and he was laughing with each glide on the skates.

"All right, this is actually pretty fun," he admitted, wrapping his arms around Gray's waist and burying his face in his boyfriend's chest. "Where are th—"

"Uncle Na'su!" A little voice shouted out happily from around knee height, and before Gray or Natsu could do anything about it, Sylvie crashed into them, grabbing them both around the legs. Natsu let go of Gray and instinctively threw his arms behind himself, flailing wildly before he crashed backward. His elbow slammed into the ice, and he felt his teeth clack together as the back of his head hit the solid surface.

A mournful wail brought him back to reality and he opened his eyes, looking up to see Sylvie sprawled across his legs, tears running down her face. Ultear stood above them, looking worriedly at Natsu.

"Are you all right?" There was a gentle hand on his shoulder – Gray was crouched beside him on the ice, looking at him with concern. "Sylvie, _as_ _-tu mal?"_ The little girl shook her head, wiping tears from her face with mittened hands.

 _"Désolé,_ Uncle Na'su," she sniffed, letting Ultear help her to her feet.

"Hey, I'm okay, sunshine," he said, wincing as Gray helped him sit up. His elbow throbbed and the pain from the back of his head shot through to right between his eyes, making him blink to clear the sensation. Sylvie's contrite face swam in his vision and he offered her a weak smile.

"That looked like it hurt," Gray murmured, running his fingers over the back of Natsu's head. Natsu hissed in pain and Gray made a sympathetic sound. "All right, you're done skating for a bit. C'mere." He pulled Natsu to his feet slowly, letting the pink-haired boy lean forward to avoid passing out from dizziness.

"Uncle Na'su okay?" Sylvie asked quietly, holding Ultear's hand. Natsu reached out and ruffled her hair, smiling.

"Just fine. I'm gonna take a break though, but you keep showing me your moves, okay?" She grinned and nodded enthusiastically, hugging him around his waist and then gliding away across the pond.

Gray helped Natsu over to the bench on the island, settling him down gently before beginning to tug at his laces. Natsu went to shake his head but immediately regretted it, groaning in pain.

"You need ice?" Gray asked, touching Natsu's cheek gently. "I'm worried you got a concussion, you hit your head pretty hard. How's your arm?" Natsu attempted to extend his elbow and winced.

"I think I'll live," he said lightly, sighing at the sensation of his skates being unlaced. Gray sat down next to him on the bench, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and kissing his temple. They sat in contented silence for a bit, watching Sylvie hop and twirl and skate in circles around Ultear. Gray began to play absently with the hair at the back of Natsu's neck.

"We came here every Saturday," he said after a while, voice soft. "They had these cookouts where people would build big fires and roast hot dogs, and my Unc-" He stopped, exhaling sharply. "Uncle Jean-Yves w-would...he would do the hot chocolate."

Natsu drew patterns on Gray's jeans with his fingers, pressing himself closer against his boyfriend to reassure him that he was here, and it was okay. The first time Gray had talked about his uncle had been last Christmas, and Natsu knew it was linked to painful memories.

"Papa wanted to be a figure skater when he was little," Gray continued. Soft flakes of snow had started to fall around them and Natsu tightened his scarf around his neck. "He tried to teach me but I just kept falling down. I remember getting so frustrated, and so...cold, but papa would always pull me up and show me again."

"Your parents sound great," Natsu said quietly, squeezing Gray's thigh. "I'm sorry."

"Me too," Gray said. "I didn't realize how hard it would be. Being here, I mean." He rubbed a hand across his face and Natsu leaned up to kiss his cheek. "Everything reminds me of them. And mom." Natsu could feel Gray slumping against him.

 _"C'est quoi ça?"_ He asked, holding out his hand and gesturing to the snowflake that landed in the center of his mitten, melting quickly. This was a phrase he had picked up very quickly in French – _what is that?_ He knew this word but thought it might help pull Gray out of his thoughts.

 _"Neige,"_ Gray replied, sitting up a little and smiling. _"La neige tombe._ The snow is falling." Natsu grinned, sticking out his tongue and catching a few flakes. Then he pointed down at his unlaced skates. _"Patins. Nous allons patiner._ We go skating."

"I like it," Natsu admitted, tilting his head from side to side and wincing at the ache. "Even with the falling. I like...seeing this. You."

"Seeing me?" Gray frowned, turning slightly to face Natsu. His toque was pushed backward to let his messy black hair fall in his eyes, and Natsu smiled softly, poking his boyfriend's nose.

"Mm. Like this." Natsu gestured vaguely. "I know talking about your parents is hard, but...it's good to see you remembering them. Even if it's sad, y'know?" Gray sighed, nodding a little. "It's like, I know you feel this pressure to be _okay_ all the time, but it's fine if you're not, right? It's okay to miss them, it's okay to come here and remember being little and having them and feel sad about it."

Gray huffed, dropping his face to Natsu's shoulder and burying his face in his boyfriend's neck.

"What'd I do to deserve you?" He asked, words muffled by Natsu's scarf.

"Mmm, I believe we've been over this," Natsu murmured, running his hand up Gray's back and resting it on his neck. "Sylvie's really something, huh?" His gaze returned to their niece, whose face was red and smile was as wide as Natsu had ever seen it. Her giant puffy coat was neon pink, making her easy to pick out of the crowd. "She's gonna have those same memories when she grows up. Of you."

Gray stilled beside Natsu, clearly affected by the words. He rested his head on Natsu's, eyes also following Sylvie's movements. Ultear was saying something to her, reaching out and grabbing both her hands to spin her in a circle, and she was giggling, dark hair falling in loose curls from under her toque.

"That...makes it better, actually," Gray said eventually. He tugged off his glove and Natsu's and entwined their fingers, skin warm against each other. "Thank you."

"It's what I'm here for," Natsu teased.

"No, seriously. For everything." Gray rubbed his eyes with his free hand. "For...learning French. Spending time with my family. Coming here. Meeting my grand-parents." His voice was becoming wobbly. "It means so much to me."

"Oh, Snowflake." Natsu squeezed Gray's hand. He knew that nickname held so much meaning to Gray, and he felt honored that he was allowed to use it. "I love you. _Je t'aime._ And I love your family." He glanced up at Sylvie again. "Even if they get me concussed." Gray snorted.

"You need me to kiss it better?" He asked teasingly. Natsu pretended to ponder the question for a moment.

"Maybe later," he said, pressing a kiss to Gray's jaw. "And...you can kiss other places too." Gray made a choked sound and Natsu knew he was blushing. "But for now, let's keep skating."

"You sure?" Gray leaned back and looked at him, eyes soft and vulnerable. Natsu grinned, reaching down slowly to re-tie his skate laces.

"Yep," he said, tugging his gloves back on and wobbling unsteadily back to his feet. "We're gonna keep doing this until I can do a lap around the island on my own."

"That could take a while," Gray warned, standing as well. They made their way back out onto the ice again, Gray's smooth movements contrasting sharply with Natsu's jerky wobble.

"That's okay," Natsu replied, balancing himself carefully and glancing at Gray, who had moved a few feet away and was standing with his hands out. "We're on vacation." He pushed off with the left skate and felt the exhilaration of gliding across the ice and falling forward into Gray's arms. Then he gave Gray a quick peck on the lips and pushed him away, ready to try again. "We've got all the time in the world."

* * *

 **French Translations**

câlice = shit  
Ils me manquent tellement = I miss them so much  
Je sais = I know  
Je suis desolé = I'm sorry  
Merci = Thank you  
As-tu mal? = Are you hurt?


End file.
